So You Want to Date a Fighter?

I feel like my blurb about being single/fighter relationship was crap. I wrote it while inebriated. I’m going to try to take a stab at this sober.

I will tackle fighter relationships first. This whole concept was brought up when I was chatting with @chaosthemonster about something funny/silly/non-MMA related. I brought up how I would never be in a relationship with a fighter. Now, when I was still in college and naïve (I am still the same way don’t worry), I thought ‘”Damn wouldn’t it be great to be with a fighter or with someone just as passionate as about MMA as I am? I would get to share the my rich thoughts about rubber guard. We could eat popcorn and drink Root Beer on the couch while watching WEC on Versus. Then I graduated, saw what the real world is like and started realizing it could be disastrous.
I watch the UFC PPV’s at a local bar and at first I looked high and low for someone to watch them with. I wanted to build a good friendship through MMA. I didn’t find anyone. Then a thought then popped in my head. “If I actually started dating anyone right now, would I want to watch the fights with them?” NO. I don’t need or really want to be with someone who watches/knows about MMA. I love to watch MMA and probably will for the rest of my life. I just don’t need my significant other to share that passion I have for the sport. It would be a little weird arguing over who is more of a dick: Tito Ortiz or Jamie Varner.
So on my checklist of the perfect guy (calm down I don’t really have one. At least one written anyway) is a box saying MMA knowledge: unnecessary. Would they get some bonus points if they knew who Keith Kizer was? Sure. Would I date a fighter though? No. I think there are several reasons for that.

1. A guy being a MMA fighter isn’t that attractive to me. If a guy dropped that he trains out at the Throwdown Center, it wouldn’t make stop and go, “Ohh. That’s hot.” This means most amateurs or wannabe fighters are out. Most guys who lead with a line like that isn’t going to be enjoying my company for long period of time anyway. Now, what if a serious professional MMA guy came up to me with that line? I would still be like, “ok.” I would go home and check their record out if I didn’t know them but still that’s not something that would get my engine going. At this point, I can’t imagine a professional fighter coming up to me and actually hitting on me since they don’t go out much anyways. Most of them stay in their social circles created inside the gym.

2. Tie Me Down by New Boyz is my theme song. Listen to the lyrics boys and girls. Live by these. I’m just kidding. Ok let’s go down this road assuming I meet someone who is doing MMA full time. It will make talking about this way easier. So, Roger Huerta comes up to me hits on me (hey it’s my scenario!), and asks me out on a date. Of course I say yes and then jump up in the air like on Anchorman when they decided they were going to go suit shopping.
What do we talk about? Oh so, hey that Clay Guida fight? Amazing. Nah. Oh so tell me more about yourself? Oh yeah I’ve already watched the countdown about your harsh beginnings. Er. So what do you like to for fun when you aren’t training would be the only acceptable question to ask him. If I don’t know the fighter then of course the conversation could flow a little more easier and be more insightful. When the conversation switches to me though, I will probably mention that MMA is a passion of mine and a significant part of my life. As this is starting to play out in my head, I see that it may not be that big of a hurdle after all. I have many more interests in life than MMA. I like to be outdoors and see cool things. I read, workout, watch TV, listen to a lot of music and pretty much up for anything. I don’t like sitting at home all the time. I am perfectly willing to go to a new place I heard by myself. Would that part of my personality of wanting to go out and do new things coincide with a fighter and their lifestyle?

3. How would I react to my dude going through a eight, or twelve week training camp? I’m pretty sure sleep would be on the top of the list every night during that time. Of course, I have a job which would keep me busy and various side projects that would occupy my time. Do I have the strength to go through the dieting, the three a day workouts, promotions? If I want to go have a drink, would I feel guilty because he can’t have one? If I wanted to go visit a friend, have a weekend in Vegas, wouldn’t it have to wait until after the fight? Now, I know he wouldn’t be tired every night and would be taking days off from training because one’s body eventually has to rest. I don’t have to go out every weekend. Date nights don’t have to be on the agenda either. On the other hand, a ton of effort would have to be put out by both parties to see each other. Would I willing to put that effort at this point in my life? Well I’m a Scorpio and we don’t do anything half assed. We are loyal to a fault. We also tend to get really strong feelings about whoever we are with and typically do anything we can to hang on anyone we care about. So I guess the answer would be yes. If I really liked that person I would want to be with them and would do anything to see them. Is that healthy or smart? I mean is dropping everything or moving everything around in my day really something I should be doing for every guy I go out with? I don’t know.
Yes, I do know their will be time when he’s not fighting. Those times will probably be pretty provided he is has good health.

4. To put it simply, how do you deal with a fighter after a loss? I find it excruciating to even bring up a loss in a interview, so how would I conjure up coherent and appropriate words that are comforting afterwards? Maybe they will come to me. Maybe they won’t. Also, could I watch someone I’m going out with lose, get their arm broken, be put to sleep, or quit? I honestly don’t know. I don‘t like too many fighters because something inside of me burns when the ones I actually do like lose. It’s not a great feeling. I can only imagine how emotional I would be if it was someone I cared about. I feel like my reaction would matter a great deal if I were to go out with a fighter. Fighters when they lose, often talk about feeling like they let people down. Honestly, when the lose, they do. I know the fan in me would be let down.
I think a important distinction needs to made here about the difference between fighter and the actual man. I wouldn’t go out with any guy just because he’s a fighter. So why would it affect me when he loses? I would be going out with the person rather than the fighter. It would suck seeing the guy I’m going out with deal with a loss, but in the end, everything would be ok wouldn’t it? I mean, he will go on living. Eventually he will get back in the gym. The order of the world would be restored. It’s much easier to move past things like losses with someone by your side. As I said before, I tend to stick by people through thick and thin. So doesn’t that mean I would date a fighter?

At the beginning of this blog, I had made my mind up about dating a fighter: No. But now at the end of this, I would. I wouldn’t make my relationship about MMA. That would be the last thing I would want to talk about. But I would be able to support and “L word” a fighter.